Relationships and spirituality

Could your spirituality be the key to how long your relationships last? By Neelam Puri

Have you ever wondered why your relationships don’t last?

There are some familiar patterns: many people tend to be sexually attracted at first, and then maybe fall head and heels in love. If you look at most media representations of what love is, they’re almost all the same — eyes meet, lips touch and body locks. Six weeks later (or even a few days later!), you are left with all the same questions: Why haven’t I heard from him/her? Why has he/she left? He/She has disappeared!

Well, most couples that last longer than five minutes tend to have more things in common. Nonetheless, even if you have more in common, you may still be asking the question: Why did he/she leave?

Let’s go right back to basics.

What makes a good relationship? Trust? Loyalty? Love? Honesty? Wrong! Well, yes, actually all those things…but to have all of those things the building blocks also have to be right. It is really important to have similar values and principles. If you have this, then you are more likely to think along the same lines, which will bring you together in times of uncertainty. And also, you are more likely to gel with each other for longer than a few minutes, a few days, or a few weeks.

So how do you know if you have similar ideals and values? Well, before the first kiss it’s important to get to know that person. Before your bodies lock, you need to have conversations. In other words, get to know each other really well. If your values don’t match, then it is more than likely you are in ‘fling’ territory. If this is the case then at least you will know before you fall headfirst, knee deep into a short-term love affair where you’ve invested a lot more than you wished.

Spirituality

If you don’t want to be in ‘fling’ territory, then a good idea is to get to know more about the spirituality of your prospective partner. Are they religious? Do they have spiritual pursuits, or do they have beliefs that they will never negotiate?

These questions and the answers they bring up are important if you want someone to stay the course. For example, if you are both vegan, then you can guarantee that you will both like to eat the same stuff and possibly love animals.

If you are not of the same spiritual or religious background find out how flexible their views are so that the road isn’t bumpy further on in your relationship. It’s really important to know about spirituality before you fall totally in love; you could save each other a lot of heartache.

And if you think asking all these questions might turn passion cold, you’re mistaken. Most people love to talk about themselves…and the longer you wait for all the other fun stuff, the more exciting life will get! Whilst you’re doing all of this you will be building trust and loyalty, not to mention self-respect. This will always be a winner for the right man or woman.