The Happiness Explorer
How to…get more inner peace By Lydia Kimmerling
When I tell people that I am a life coach, they quite often say, give me your best tip. My ego would like to have something really funny or extremely wise to say, but for years it’s always stumped me. Until one day, I was given the best life advice ever, summed up in no less than two words: Stop thinking!
Have you ever tried to stop thinking? Maybe the first time you tried to meditate you thought it was about stopping your thoughts entirely, to only find that the more you tried to stop them, the more your brain became as busy as the traffic during rush hour.
You can’t completely stop thinking and you wouldn’t want to either. But something many of us find ourselves stuck in, is over thinking. We can think so long, so hard and so in depth that we get pulled deep back into our past or get lost far into the future. We think about all of the bad things that haven’t happened yet but that could happen, as if we are living in a scary movie.
I’m guilty of coming into the house whilst it’s dark and rushing to turn the lights on in case there’s someone waiting in the kitchen to get me.
That’s something I can laugh off as soon as the lights are on, but we do a whole lot of thinking that robs us of our inner peace and that doesn’t feel funny at all — worrying about not having money, worrying about not meeting someone, worrying about illness, worrying that your partner will cheat, worrying about your kids or worrying that you’re gaining weight. Worrying is thinking about what hasn’t happened yet and I don’t think it serves any purpose in life at all.
So when this advice was given to me, to stop thinking, what I think they meant was to stop worrying. Worrying is the part of thinking that wastes your energy and steals your inner peace. It’s easy to say and a little harder to do.
The concept of not thinking is simple, but the mind is complex. I’ve been practicing for 10 years now — ever since I read (but struggled to understand) Eckhart Tolle’s, Power of Now. Anyone else had to read that book a few times too, to really get it? It helps to separate yourself from the mind. You are not your mind. You are the manager of your mind and if you forget that, the mind will manage you. When I don’t want to think about something anymore, I literally say out loud ‘stop!’ I command my mind to stop.
I recently struggled a great deal with something that was on my mind. I was going to bed with obsessive thoughts and waking up with them too. So much so, that I was starting my day in tears for a month. I felt so weak because for so long, I have been able to manage my mind well. But this particular situation in my life was eating away at me and creating so much toxicity that I felt completely out of control with it.
Eventually it began to ease and I took back control. What got me there was the love I have for myself. I kept reminding myself that no one else was making me think about it. It was only me that was stealing the peace from within. I deserved to give myself much better internal living conditions than this. I deserved to not self-generate worry, angry, sadness and pain. I deserved to give myself freedom, happiness and peace.
So today I offer you this: If you want more inner peace and you are someone who over thinks things and worries about everything, you deserve more than to be putting yourself through that. Become your best friend and edge yourself away with a soft nudge and gentle love. The inner peace you’re seeking is always there: when you remember that, you can turn down the noise.
Lydia Kimmerling can help you to live — like, really, truly live! There is more out there for you and she knows how to find it! Connect with her on Instagram @lydiakimmerling or find out more via her website: thehappinessexplorer.com
Om Magazine
First published in November 2009, OM Yoga magazine has become the most popular yoga title in the UK. Available from all major supermarkets, independents and newsstands across the UK. Also available on all digital platforms.
