How I brought myself out of Depression

I have many stories, but let’s focus on this one…….

In 2014, I had a toe operation. I had decided to go for the operation because they had said that recovery would be fairly quick.

Whilst recovering for this operation, just after a few days, I came down with a very severe Kidney infection Pylonephritis. This meant I was admitted back in hospital, bedridden, & on the drip & antibiotics.

Dealing with this mentally & physically became difficult & draining. On one hand trying to deal with the toe issue, I really wanted to walk normally again & then on the other hand trying to deal the kidney issue which was quite exhausting as I was bearing with the worst pains in my back. I was still refined to bed.

So, once the infection had subsided & I was feeling better, I was discharged from hospital.

Being at home trying get walk around, & be mobile was proving to be a challenge.

This ‘small op’ started to take its toll when I began to experience some horrible pains through the whole length of my leg, excruciating pain to the point where I couldn’t even stand for long any length of time & even trying to take those steps was a great challenge, therefore, I just sitting or lying most of the day. Although, I did attempt to get put into the garden to at least try to keep mobile.

Who knew such a small operation would have a huge impact?

However, I had allowed 3-4 weeks’ time off work, which actually became 3-4 months, Or even it 5-6 months if I remember correctly!!!

They were the worst weeks & months of my life.

So here I was thinking I was being positive by trying to keep as mobile as I could as well as trying to keep  a good routine going, such as housework etc. but this started to prove very challenging, physically & mentally which in turn started to have an effect on my mental state.

Negative thoughts started to creep into my mind…. Thoughts such as:

Why is this happening to me?

What if I don’t come out of this & I have to live like this?

I won’t be able to handle living like this!

Picturing these awful scenes in my head, making me feel even more depressed, I picked up pen & paper many times to write suicide notes, which I did. But then would think of my husband & kids, so I’d tear them up into small shreds & bin them straightaway.

I decided I had to come out of this horrible pain for the sake of my family.

Eventually, I forced myself to get out into the fresh air to walk each day, each day trying to make that walk a little longer by a few steps.

Soon, a started to cook & did a little housework to keep my mind off the pains.

Slow, baby steps was the key!!

As I slowly slowly felt better, I decided that I should start to go into work, which I did. My managers were very supportive & agreed for me to begin part time & with shorter days to miss out on the peak hours of the tube journey, so I could get a seat on the train.

In this way, I could see & be around more people again, be able to focus on my work, which allowed my mind to be diverted from my pains.

As I had practiced yoga many years before, and had felt the benefits of the practices, physically, emotionally and mentally, it suddenly occurred to me, to take up the practice again, at least to get physically stronger first. I suppose that was my only goal then… to be physically stronger & be able to the normal things that I used to.

I searched for a beginner’s class locally and managed to start in one straightaway.