The Art of Supporting a Loved One in Crisis

Practical advice on how to support friends during crises, emphasising the importance of emotional support, practical assistance, and guiding them towards necessary resources.

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Times of crisis and stress strike unexpectedly and hit hard. Whether your friend experienced job loss, was diagnosed with an illness, ended a relationship, or is a survivor of a natural disaster. Because of stress's physical and emotional effects, we need to have some stress management strategies in place when a crisis hits. Because the effects of stress can be contagious, relieving stress shouldn't be a burden for anyone to carry alone. Having a friend for social support during a stressful life event can make a huge difference.

The American Psychological Association (APA) describes social support as "the provision of assistance or comfort to others, typically to help them cope with biological, psychological, and social stressors. It may take the form of practical help (e.g., doing chores, offering advice), tangible support that involves giving money or other direct material assistance, and emotional support that allows the individual to feel valued, accepted, and understood." Therefore, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Helping Your Loved One De-Stress During a Crisis

However, knowing how to help them can be tricky. Here are some strategies for offering support to family members and friends in need:

Nourishing Connections

There's a reason why bringing food is the classic "good neighbour gesture": It's appropriate for a wide range of relationships, from very close to a mere acquaintance, and it really does help people feel better when they're going through a crisis. Bring your own meal and drop it off or help coordinate the food-bringing efforts of your group (so the whole neighbourhood doesn't all show up with food on the same night), and you're doing a real service.

Lending a Helping Hand

When people experience a crisis, they're often overwhelmed. Just getting from one day to the next can be challenging and draining. Offering to lend whatever type of hand they need can be an excellent way to support your friend. Whether it's taking out the rubbish for a neighbour, grocery shopping for a friend, or taking your mum's dog to the vet, helping with the daily tasks that may prove to be too much for someone in crisis is an excellent way to help.

Shared Experiences

Sometimes, you can't find a solution or fix people's problems. Sometimes, all you can do is listen. Fortunately, that's enough to make a big difference most of the time.

Implement stress management strategies.

(Sometimes, a good, supportive listener is far more comforting than the best advice-giver!) Coping with loneliness during a crisis can increase the possibility of depression and anxiety; therefore, taking the time to take a friend out of their usual scenery can distract them, and they can feel supported, positively affecting their mental health. As a supportive friend, sometimes it helps to take a loved one out and help them, then get away for a few hours. Taking someone to dinner, walking in the park, or seeing an uplifting film can be fun.

A Listening Ear

Sometimes, you can't find a solution or fix people's problems. Sometimes, all you can do is listen. Fortunately, that's enough to make a big difference most of the time. (Sometimes, a good, supportive listener is far more comforting than the best advice-giver!) Good listening skills can strengthen friendships and support a friend during a crisis because they feel they are not alone. (In fact, sometimes a good, supportive listener is far more comforting than the best advice-giver!) Lending a supportive ear or a shoulder to cry on can be more difficult than it sounds (which is part of why therapists are in demand), but it can be transformative to the friend who needs a good listener.

Resources Beyond Your Support

If you're close enough with someone and see that they may need more support than you can provide, you should point them toward other resources and offer what help you can. A study published in the National Library of Medicine clearly shows the positive consequences of strong social support and functional social networks on maintaining physical and psychological health. People with strong social support from friends report higher happiness levels than those who do not. Help them find a therapist support group or other resources available in the community can benefit people who are too overwhelmed to look on their own or need an outside perspective to recognize when they need additional help.

Even small gestures can help a family, friend or neighbour manage a tough time. Being there can help them de-stress and improve their health. Always make sure that you are taking care of yourself when you are supporting a friend during difficult times.